Running, my dead passion

July 1, 2009, I made a decision: I was going to run a marathon. 26.2 miles, a full marathon! I felt I was missing some type of huge physical accomplishment. The date of the run- April 24th, the OKC Memorial Marathon. I had 10 months to train. There were a few problems though. I had asthma as a child, and anyone who has asthma knows, it doesn't go away. I learned that the hard way day 1 of my training. I ran a measly 2 blocks and barely made it back up the stairs to my apartment. Day 2 I reminded myself why I was doing this, and made it to a mile. Progressively I saw improvement over the next 4 weeks, but then I platoed for a month and a half, and could not get past 4 miles. I tried everything, but never could push myself hard enough. I called my dad one day, because he is a professional cyclist, and asked for advice. He informed me it is completely a mental block, but he would not give any advice past that. He told me I have to take control of my mind. I didn't run for the next 3 days, and began contemplating. I realized I had to take control and just stop listening to when my mind said to quit. I immediately left my apartment. After 3 miles, my body and mind tried to quit. I even sat down, but then I remembered that I just needed to shut it off. I ran for another 4.5 miles that day. Over the next 3 months, I got to where I would run on average about 10-12 miles every other day. December 12th, I broke up with my girlfriend, and was in need of a good run. I went to the track I ran on, and told myself "Do it all." My goal for the day 18 miles. I was just fine until around mile 14. My left hamstring really started hurting, but I pushed through it. I made it to 16 miles and then collapsed. I couldn't get up; I couldn't do anything. I couldn't even walk back to my apartment. I felt useless. Lying helpless, my roommate came and picked me up and literally had to carry me to his car. I went to the doctor the next day. Hamstring pull. He gave me crutches to help me walk. I should have used those crutches like I was supposed to. I had to abandon my training. I went to the marathon last month, but simply as a spectator. I stood at mile 16.

Running taught me a lot. Our mind does try to trick us, but sometimes it's ok to quit.